


Sick

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-02-11
Updated: 2002-02-11
Packaged: 2018-11-21 00:09:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11345973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: What Alex deserves.





	Sick

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

Sick

## Sick

#### by Black Coffee

Title: Sick  
Author: Black Coffee  
Feedback to:   
Author's Website:   
Category: Pre-slash  
Pairing (Primary): Krycek (Pre/Non-slash)  
Pairing(s) (Secondary):   
Crossover Fandom (if any):   
Crossover Info (if any):   
Other Pairing Info:   
Rating: Not Rated  
Spoilers:   
Permission to Archive:   
Series or Sequel/Prequel: Third part in the Alex-gets-a-puppy series. Follows "Soft" and "Soap and Dust"  
Notes: Ursula did the proof-reading and for that I (and, I'm sure, all of you) am very grateful. Thanks, Ursula! All mistakes you find are my own.  
Warnings:   
Disclaimer:   
Summary: What Alex deserves.

* * *

There are days when Alex thinks that maybe his dog didn't so much happen to end up in his apartment as much as was sent there. It seems like things like that don't happen in the lives of people like him without a cause. Good things, that is. Because that is what the dog has been to him up until now. A good thing. 

Which makes him wonder if he did something right in his life, to deserve that? He can't really think of what it would be, though. 

But someone made sure he ended up with a puppy dog, and of that Alex is certain. Someone or something planned for it to happen. Alex feels happy when he thinks about it. 

>Maybe I deserve this dog? Maybe I earned him somehow.<

But then he gets sick. That wasn't planned. 

* 

There is nothing to do, but call Mulder... 

"Yeah?" 

"Mulder. It's me." 

There is silence on the other line, and then a deep sigh. Alex closes his eyes momentarily, listens to the dull throbbing pain in his own head, counts to five and says into the phone, "I need your help, Mulder." 

"With what? What's wrong with your voice?" 

"I'm...I'm not feeling well. I need you to help me out a bit...with my dog." 

He is shaking already, feeling the fever run through his body, making his teeth rattle and his skin crawl. The phone drops out of his hand before he can hear Mulder's reply, and when his weak arms finally manage to grab it again, the line is dead. 

He puts the phone down, lies back on the bed and waits. 

* 

Mulder shows up half an hour later. He walks into the small apartment, looks around at the room which is almost empty except for a couch, a book shelf and some dog toys lying on the floor. Alex is nowhere to be seen. Neither is Alex, the dog. 

>Need you to help out with my dog.< That has better not be some sort of >trick. And then he thinks >Damn it's cold in here.<

He still can't really believe that he actually dropped everything he had in his hands when Alex phoned, just to go and make sure the dog isn't suffering. Make sure Alex is taking proper care of it. Help him out if it turns out he isn't. 

"This is ridiculous," he mumbles to himself when he is standing in the apartment again. The dog is probably fine and Krycek is waiting behind that bedroom door with a gun and some alien virus or something. 

But nevertheless, Mulder steps across the room and over to the bedroom door. At first he knocks on it, but there are no sounds, so he pushes it open and looks inside. 

It's pretty dark, even though the sun is shining brightly on the cold, winter's day outside the window. But Mulder can make out the bed and the closet and the small nightstand with the phone on top of it. 

Krycek is lying in the bed, on his side, one arm stretched down towards the floor and the other - the fake one- tucked behind his back. His eyes are closed and he is breathing heavily through his mouth. The hand down by the floor is burrowed into the fur of the dog, which is lying by the bedside, awake. The puppy's small head is raised up and his brown eyes are locked on Mulder in the doorway, but he doesn't make a sound until Mulder takes a step inside the room. Then he growls, low in his throat. 

Mulder sighs. "Hey Alex, it's just me. You remember me, right? Look, I brought you biscuits. Look!" 

Mulder crouches down and lets the dog sniff his hand and then he feeds him the treats he has brought with him, reaching down with his other hand to pet the small body a few times. As the dog is busy licking his fingers, he lets his eyes drift to Krycek's face. 

The man doesn't look so good. He's pale as the sheets and Mulder notices that he seems to be trembling. His breathing is painfully heavy. There is a nudge at his hand and Mulder looks down between his knees again, strokes the dog's head, says to it in a light voice as not to scare the animal, "You poking me there, huh? Something the matter, boy? Something you wanna tell me about? What is it, Alex?" 

The man on the bed mumbles, "Mm, think I'm sick." 

Mulder's head jerks up and he is staring into Krycek's open eyes, noticing how glazed they look. He clears his throat a little. "You called me," he says stiffly. Krycek is obviously in need of a hospital or something. Mulder really doesn't want to get involved. 

Krycek nods. "The dog," he whispers, obviously hurting from every breath. "Can't...take care of him. Needs walks. Food. Could you...?" 

"I'll take him," Mulder says quickly and Krycek's eyes closes then. He nods briefly. Mulder expects him to ask for something else, water, aspirin, a place to stay that isn't as cold and dark as this one. 

Krycek just breathes out a small "Thank you." 

Mulder sighs in relief. "No problem." 

He is happy to leave the worn-down place, smelling of sickness and emptiness. There is something deep inside him that whispers that he hates leaving another human being, especially one in that much pain, in a place like that, but then he shrugs it off with the now automatic response that Alex Krycek only gets whatever he deserves. No more. No less. He picks the small dog up and leaves the man on the bed without a backward glance. 

* 

Alex couldn't ask Mulder to take care of >him<, even though as he lies in his bed, delirious with fevered dreams and coughing hard, he thinks he should have at least tried. A harsh rejection and a punch in the nose wouldn't have killed him. Being alone and sick in a cold dark apartment without the capability to even stand on his own, might very well do that. 

But Mulder's presence has never made Alex feel brave. He knows the other man goes out of his way to help people. Mulder is generous and kind and probably did so much good in his life that Alex couldn't stand to look at his own past in comparison. But he also knows Mulder's kindness does not include him, not since...everything that's happened. And he understands. He doesn't wish for it to be any other way. Why would he? 

He tosses his sweaty head on the bed and wants it over with. 

* 

Mulder thinks that Krycek's apartment really isn't a place for a puppy. 

It's too small; the heater seems to not be working and it's situated in a rather rough area, with not many green spots in which a dog could play. And Krycek isn't...well, a couple of weeks ago Mulder would never have thought the Russian double agent would be fit to look after a dog, but he has to admit he's changed his mind about that. The couple of times he's been by to check on Krycek, the dog has seemed happy. Mulder has to admit that the puppy is half of the reason he's been visiting Krycek. The small dog is sort of...charming, and Mulder understands Krycek's reasons for keeping him even though he still thinks the man should move some place else. 

Actually, he has spent quite a lot of time lately thinking about Alex Krycek. It's like the man showed up in his life again as usual, but this time just wouldn't leave. And this time, Mulder has to admit, Krycek doesn't even seem to be in town because of him. The few surprise visits he has paid the Rat lately to make sure he isn't up to anything, has only been to catch Krycek playing with his dog, or walking it, or giving it a bath, and frankly looking quite annoyed about being interrupted just to answer Mulder's harsh questions. 

This kind of intrigues Mulder, and he finds himself wondering what is going on in that dark-haired head. Thinking a lot about it, actually. That dark head. 

But he is still reluctant when it comes to Krycek, and he doesn't want to think too much about him, doesn't want to make him into one of his cases or something. 

Doesn't want to feel anything for him. 

So Mulder just takes Krycek's dog home, feeds it, and later that evening, he takes it for a long walk around the large, green park right outside his building. The dog runs in the grass and smells all the trees and seems genuinely happy, which make Mulder feel warm inside and glad that he took it away from that awful place. He even feels a bit proud, that he's able to give the animal a better life. 

Mulder pats the little head and rubs the furry back and says, "You like it here, don't you, Alex? You want to stay, yeah? You want to stay here with me, don't ya?" 

The dog likes the attention and wags his tail and pushes up into Mulder's caresses. Mulder smiles warmly down at him. 

But then when the evening comes the dog sits down by the front door and stares at it as if he's expecting someone to come through it. Mulder tries everything he can to coax him away from the door, even trying to remove him with force, but the dog doesn't let himself be moved. He just looks at Mulder with sad, sad eyes, and then looks back at the door, and Mulder gives up. 

The dog spends the night on the mat in front of the closed apartment door. A couple of times during the night, Mulder can hear him sigh deeply and whimper a little before going quiet again. 

The next night, Mulder tries to lock the dog into the bedroom, but the animal keeps howling and whimpering until he finally gives in and lets him out, watching the dog run to the front door again, starting the long waiting all over again. 

Mulder stands in the hall watching him for a long time. 

* 

Alex is deadly ill for a couple of days. Then, through some miracle or a born toughness, he slowly starts to get better. Not completely well, but a little better. One day at a time. 

* 

It takes Alex a good two days after he first starts to become aware of his surroundings again, to figure out that Mulder is not coming back with his puppy. At first he's furious and wants to rip the agents throat out. He did not intend for the other man to just steal his dog, >his< dog, just because he needed a few days help with it. The puppy is Alex's because he somehow earned it and someone wanted him to have it and now that mother-fucking son-of-a-bitch FBI man just took him away like Alex doesn't even count, like he isn't even someone you asked for permission before taking the only thing in life he truly cares for. 

Alex curses at the walls and wants to break something, preferably Mulder's arms. But then he thinks about Mulder's apartment and in a flash of clarity he realizes how much better the dog must be in a place like that instead of a dump like Alex's flat. He looks around the room, almost for the first time since moving in. Yes, it is a dump. And no good environment to raise a puppy in. 

So Alex swallows his anger and tries to think about all the things Mulder can offer the animal; space, a working heater, soft carpets, nice furniture, green parks and a nice neighborhood. 

Alex no longer wants to kill Mulder. He goes back to being sick and miserable. Thinking it perhaps is what he deserves, after all. 

* 

No coaxing, no forcing, no petting, no briding, no begging, no nothing can make the puppy stop spending the nights in front of the apartment door, his nose against it and his sad, sad eyes locked on it, sighing and whimpering softly during the long hours he waits and waits for Alex to come through it. 

Mulder gives up even trying to. 

* 

Alex has never felt so pathetic in his life. 

Here he is, a grown man, a longtime loner, a criminal, a hard-ass double -or is it triple - agent, practically crying because his dog has left him. Well, not exactly crying, just this deep, heavy pain in his chest and throat, and this strange wetness in his eyes and...okay, so crying. Alex is crying. He is crying because of a puppy. 

It has been a week and a half days since Mulder took his dog. Ten long, endless, quiet days when there has been no playful yaps or sound of small feet in his apartment, and then ten equally long nights with no furry body curled up next to him in bed. 

Alex is beginning to wonder what he did before Alex showed up in his life. How he actually spent days like this when there's nothing on his calendar and every day is filled with - nothing special. Before he had his dog to play with, take long walks with and talk to, what on earth had he been doing with himself? 

Surely I didn't jerk off that much? Alex ponders as that particular activity is the only one he remembers actually enjoying doing before. 

Before Alex, the dog; who is now gone. 

A sob wrenches from Alex's throat and echoes in the dark, quiet apartment before he can stop it. Of course, it doesn't really matter. No one is there to hear it anyway. So he lets another one go. And another. 

>Pathetic.<

* 

Over the next few days, Alex doesn't sleep well. He has an insistent cough and for some reason he can't get his fever down to normal even though he rests and takes Aspirin. At night, the apartment gets so cold he is shaking under the blanket. There is no warm little body curled up next to him to offer a bit of warmth and to breathe puffs of air evenly on his skin until he is lulled to sleep. 

Alex suspects that that, more than the fever, is what keeps him awake at night. 

* 

If Alex manages to fall asleep in the late hours, he still wakes up early every morning. There is no nose poking him insistently and no quiet barking to wake him up and make him take a brisk walk in the chilly morning air, but he still wakes up every damn morning thinking; >Must take the dog out!<

Then, realizing his mistake, he sits in his small empty kitchen, afghan wrapped tightly around the shoulders, and stares unseeingly at the clean but ugly sink with its only glass standing in it. 

And then he crawls back into bed again. Lying stretched out on his back, trying not to think about anything. 

A couple of days later, when Mulder comes back for him, Alex is surprised to see him. 

* 

**TBC**

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Black Coffee 


End file.
